When in doubt, lead with warmth

Leadership, being a people-centered exercise, is not about control but about influence. You can't force another person to do something - you must influence them to go the direction you desire. Somewhere I read that the key to influence is a balance of warmth and competence.

Apparently there is extensive research in social psychology exploring how these dimensions affect our impressions of and behaviours towards other people. The Harvard Business Review article Connect, then lead [.pdf] introduces some of the research findings, connects it to people leadership, and makes pratical suggestions for increasing the level of warmth or competence that you project in a given situation. It's interesting reading if you've got a few minutes.

Aside from any approach based on science,  this theory matches with my experience. I am friendly with but have limited patience for nice-but-useless people, respect but dislike cold-but-effective people, and actively avoid people who are neither warm nor effective. I've had bosses with various combinations of these traits, and my greatest loyalty was reserved for people who had a mix of the two.

In my first two years as a manager, I focused on competence: getting things done, accountability,  focus. These things matter, but they are not all that matters. I took the time for warmth and personal touch with my immediate team,  but didn't prioritise making that connection with staff that were further away from me in the organization. The result was front line staff who respected me, but were not comfortable with me. I appeared unavailable and uninterested. If their supervisor was away they were afraid to approach me, worried that I was too busy, their concerns not significant enough to warrant my attention. So they self-censored and went without the support they needed. Meanwhile I paid lip service to my team about how supporting and developing their staff should be central to their work.

I won't make that mistake again. It wasn't good for the organization, and it wasn't aligned with my best self. At my best, I am people centered: able to listen deeply, to recognise and appreciate each person's unique gifts. This is the person I want to bring to work with me. Exercising these strengths is beneficial in several ways:

1) it enriches my experience of life;

2) people are hungry for real connection and attention, and it can affect them in profound ways;

3) doing so demonstrates that they are valued, which increases their engagement in the organization. 

It doesn't mean my workplace is a love in. The research bears out that a balance of both warmth and effectiveness is required for greatest influence, and I still have work that needs to be done. But I value the caring side of myself. This leadership commitment is to remind me that it has an important place in my work.

I will strive for a balance of warmth and competence, but if I'm going to get it wrong I want to err on the side of people. People have dreams and aspirations, disappointments and frustrations. The work, after all, is just work.

When in doubt, lead with warmth.