Full circle

When I first created this blog 5+ years ago, I was very deliberately and doggedly studying management and leadership with particular "upwardly mobile" ideas in mind. I was reading everything I could get my hands on, actively pursuing acting opportunities, and pouring plenty of time and energy into preparing myself for "the job I want". It was pervasive in my thinking both on and off of work time, and this was a place for me to dump out the thoughts that spilled out of me as my brain made so many new connections.

Through a combination of hard work, fortunate timing, and generous mentorship, I had plenty of opportunity to learn on the job and received support for both formal and informal learning. I got promoted several times. Then life happened, as it does. 

Over six weeks in 2014, my father was hospitalized with a mysterious illness, my marriage ended, and my not-yet-60-year-old father died (turns out the mystery illness was an aggressive lymphoma. Fuck cancer.). I'm deeply appreciative of the support I received at work during those hellish weeks and the slow dark recovery that followed.

Moments like that can dramatically shift your perspective. As I adjusted to single parenting and rebuilding my life, blogging fell off my radar. No time, no energy, and frankly much of what was happening was too raw, too soon, not ready to be recorded publicly. But that's water under the bridge now, and I'm much more settled in my personal life. I've come to learn that life is never really about "arriving" so I'm sure there will still be ebbs and flows but I'm at a point where I have a bit of a rhythm and comfort.

Meanwhile, I've started a new professional role that's giving me an opportunity to explore what direction I want for the next phase of my career. I still deeply value public service and recognizing leadership at all levels. But the high potential young person I was has been replaced by a professional with hard-won experience to draw on. I want to pay it forward to other folk. I'm less interested in "moving up" and more interested in finding the right places for me to share my knowledge and skills, while still learning and growing towards the next challenges.

So I find myself returning here. Again a place to work out things currently on my mind, to reflect on past lessons, and to expand on conversations that start with colleagues in other fora. I'll come here when there's something I need to think through, an idea I want to share, or a question I am trying to answer. In thinking out loud perhaps I'll spark thoughts or conversations for you too. At the very least, my kids will be relieved to hear less of it at the dinner table.